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Random Encounter of the Super Friends

BatmanDungeons & DragonsGames

I started this argument a few months ago on Twitter, and it’s sort of grown a life of it’s own… what race / class / alignment  would Batman play if he played Dungeons and Dragons?My original theory is that Batman, being a psychologist first, would immediately pick the combination that others would least expect him to pick… something like a Lawful Good Halfling Bard.  I mean, he’d still Batman all over it… peasants, on fire, running screaming into the night “Oh my god!  The bard!  The bard is killing them all!”  It would be epic.

So, upon posting my original theory, I got a lot – and I mean A LOT – of feedback from other people.  The first question was “What edition are they playing?”  to which I replied “Fourth… it’s the only one Clark understands.”  Also of note, there are probably going to be some ‘rules’ issues with anything Batman chooses to do… but I would point out that you’re asking if Batman would follow “the Rules” when they stand in the way of him doing something he wants to do.

Most people seemed to think that my prediction for what ol’ Bats would cast himself as was, while possible, not likely.  They generally fell into two camps – either Batman plays the game to win, which has him picking something like a Lawful Evil Half-Elf Wizard; that, or Batman plays the game… as Batman… fielding something along the lines of a Drow Dark Paladin.

See, I think the three camps – my own, and the other two, all come from the three fundamental struggles that exist within any Dungeons and Dragons game.  Observe:

Batman vs Self – We all know “Bruce” has a few hangups… and even being a hansom billionaire playboy who is secretly a superhero doesn’t automatically allow you to have the ultimate in wish fulfillment.  Batman’s character will be the ultimate expression of The Batman, the one where the last tiny bits of Bruce that hold him into reality are stripped away and all you’ve got left is the cowl doing the thinking.  Expect overly dramatic play style.  Might play a ranger, since rangers are the ultimate loners of the D&D world, or a Dark Paladin.  Then again, could probably pull off a Dark ______.  What do you mean there’s no such thing as a Dark Bard?

Batman vs Other Players – This is my theory – Batman decides that there’s no I in team, and he’s going to take it out on his fellow players and the Dungeonmaster by screwing with their heads as much as Batmanly possible.  Expect a Barbarian Imp, or possibly a Tiefling Druid.    And a girl.  A female blonde dwarf archer with 18 in Charisma and bonuses in Intimidate and Bluff.  Batman will attack the senses, parodying himself and others, metagaming hard enough to possibly qualify as meta-metagaming.  Does  Mister Mxyzptlk count as a deity?

Batman Vs Game – Batman plays the most broken thing he can think of, twinking his character it to a degree Red Mage would have to bow to his superior skills.  He bases everything off of what gives him the most powerful or useful advantates, using class and race to build a tank and then taking feats nobody’s ever heard of and skills nobody in their right mind would use to make his character a one PC engine of mass destruction.  Expect Bats to whip out every shred of Rule Lawyering that’s in him… up to and including possibly hiring a real lawyer to come and explain to the DM why they’re wrong and Batman is right.  Not that you’d need to, I mean, he is the Goddamn Batman, after all.  Just be sure to make sure his D20s aren’t weighted.

So… what do YOU think Batman would roleplay as?

1 Comment

  • So you believe that batman would play the game as bubbles. I continue to think it plausible, but not likely unless he’s not actually being batman at the time. Because he’s psychotic, I don’t think he’d be able to switch of spooky and dark that way.

    But other than that, it really depends on which batman we’re talking about. “the dark knight”, “the killing joke” and “the brave and the bold” are hardly the same.


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